Monday, October 27, 2014

Are You Overusing the Word No?

Some people have a problem saying no to people, situations, or obligations because they are afraid to be seen as "not nice."  These "yes" people often over-commit themselves and then feel worn down and unappreciated at the end of the day.

It is a skill to learn how to say no and mean it. People pleasers must learn how to say yes only when they truly want to. They must say no and not feel guilty afterwards.

As someone who is the oldest child, I was relied upon for almost everything growing up. This then lead to me feeling like I needed to be there for, and fix everything for, everyone. When friends or family asked anything of me the answer was almost always yes.  Yes, even if I was exhausted or sick, and I'd get angry about.

I too had to learn how to say no.  On the flip side, sometimes when it comes to ourselves, "yes" people say no too often.

Are you saying:

No to a job interview with a new company because you're afraid of leaving your current job?

No to a first date because your last relationship ended horribly?

No to relocating to a new city because you are afraid of the economy?

No to a night out with friends because you fear rejection?

No to going back to school because you think you will fail?

It is important to know when you are saying no, because you really do not want something, and when you are just holding yourself back.

Don't let fear make you stay in a constant state of misery. Practice saying no more often to what you do not want, and YES to new opportunities and adventures!

Monday, October 20, 2014

Get Healthy, Get Fit

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I've lost weight and gained weight more times than I can count.

So here I am on my weight loss journey again. This time, however, instead of just being concerned about fitting into a cute pair of skinny jeans, I'm more concerned about my health.

When doctors tell me everything that is wrong with me, and how many pills they are going to want me to take, I realize how much I've taken my health for granted.

In my effort to get well, I began searching for ways that foods can help me to not only lose weight, but heal my body.

I watched great documentaries like "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"  and "Vegucated" which show the power of fruits and vegetables.

There is a ton of health information everywhere you look. I try to just stick with what is simple and natural.

Here are some of the other things I have come across this week:

Monday, September 29, 2014

Is It Time To Move On?

How many times have you relocated in your life? Once? Twice? Never?  I've moved to new places a few times in my life and have always loved the experience.

In the past I would pick a city, make a plan and move. Lately, however, I've found myself hesitant to move to a new state.

Today, however, I came across this article, which talks about the benefits of living in different locations in your lifetime. It reignited my desire to get out of my comfort zone, and move on. Even a change as simple as a new apartment helps to open your eyes and gives you a fresh start.

This article written by Lauren Martin, lists reasons why moving and gaining a new perspective is always a good idea.

If you are ready to take the plunge and make a move, here is some advice from to help make your transition a smooth one.

For the truly adventurous, peruse for tips on moving out of the country.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Land The Job

Whether you are seeking your very first job, or you've had many jobs in  your life, it is always a good idea to brush up on your interview skills.

Everything from what to wear to the interview, to the way you behave before, during, and after your interview can affect if you get the job.

In an article written for Monster College, I discuss Seven Things That Can Ruin a Job Interview. Even with the best intentions, it is easy to make one of these mistakes.

The article Showcase the Right Attributes to Land the Job discusses how to shine beyond the information on your resume.  Often employers are presented with several candidates with the same qualifications. It is important to use your personal qualities to sway the hiring manager's decision.

Making the best possible impression  at a job interview, won't guarantee you get the job, but it will definitely help your chances.

Monday, September 15, 2014

What Oprah Knows For Sure

What I Know For Sure
By Oprah Winfrey
228 pp. Flatiron Books. $18.62

Essays written by Oprah Winfrey for  O The Oprah Magazine have been gathered into this small, yet powerful book.

Part memoir, part inspiration, this book contains lessons Oprah has learned throughout her life.

Recounting important moments from her talk show-- interviews, friendships she formed with influential people, what she learned from the guru's on her show-- Oprah relays important information that anyone can learn from.

These essays have been edited by Oprah in 2014 to reflect how she has grown since writing the original essays.

Reading this book has made me wonder what I know for sure.  One thing I know for sure is when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

We can  learn new things that will improve our lives from any number of sources, and in any number of ways if our eyes and ears are open.

What do you know for sure?

Monday, September 8, 2014

Weight Loss Inspiration

Weight loss can be difficult to achieve and even more challenging to maintain. One of the best ways to stay motivated is to see stories of other people who have lost weight and kept it off.

Seeing these people have success with their weight may be helpful because:

A) It shows that it's possible. Sometimes when you've been overweight for so long you fear that you will never get down to a healthy weight.

B) It gives you a visual to cling to, an image to keep in mind as you workout and make healthy food choices.

Here are some inspirational sites I've come across lately.

  • The Weigh We Were-- This site features people who have lost huge amounts of weight through diet and exercise alone. Each featured person tells their own story in their own words.
  • Black Women Losing Weight-- Featuring success stories, motivational articles, and monthly challenges, this site shows people who have lost weight both from diet and exercise and/or weight loss surgery.
  • Huffpost Healthy Living -- This site features various articles about people who have lost weight. At the end of each article is a slideshow of other weight loss stories to choose from.
  • CNN Weekly Weigh In -- CNN showcases weight loss success stories. There are video segments to accompany the articles. 

If you have been struggling with your weight, I hope these sites motivate you to get up and try again.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Begin Boldly

Pick an actor...any actor who is successful in his career, but  is actually not that great at acting. Got that image in your mind? Now imagine that actor never attempted to follow his dreams because he felt like he wasn't good enough. Where would he be now?
One day I decided to read a book written by a world famous author. I was ready to dive into the book and learn. I wanted to learn what made this writer's writing so good that she's sold millions of books in many different languages. What I found on the pages, however, was writing that broke every rule a new writer learns in Creative Writing 101. I was shocked! This writer's books are loved all of the world, and yet the writing isn't actually good.
What if this writer never submitted her first manuscript to a publisher because she thought she couldn't write as prolifically as Toni Morrison? Where would that writer be? What would her career look like today?
I admit to being hard on myself. I never think I'm ready to launch out and go after what I want. Always thinking that I need to know more, be more, have more, and I end up holding myself back.
"Start before you're ready." -Steven Pressfield
There's this notion that every person who does something great is confident, fearless, and perfect. What if they actually are afraid, but they go for it anyway? What if they know they aren't the best but they go for their dreams because they know they have something to offer?
"Every professional was once an amateur.  Every expert was once a beginner." Unknown
It's okay to not know learn as you go. Whatever you want to do, change careers, start a business, go back to school, get healthy, or complete a creative project, go for it!
There is no benefit to sitting on your goals and dreams.  You never know, the outcome just might be great!
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." -W.H. Murray